Saturday, July 31st
Pastors as Power Brokers
On the postmodern theology list I participate on, one person keeps speaking of Jesus' words: "He who is greatest among you must be the servant of all" in a way that I haven't considered closely enough. He keeps making the point that what Jesus meant was not that our leaders must be servants, but that the great Christians are those that don't seek to lead at all. It's an interesting point.
One of the biggest problems I see in our churches is that people do not feel free to "minister." I looked up the word "ministry" in the dictionary and I guess I was a bit surprised to find that the word means essentially "servanthood." How tough can it be to serve?
Our churches have set up elaborate power structures that are supposed to "release" people into "ministry." What exactly does this mean? What it really means is that your average garden variety Christian does not feel free to serve. She feels that her servanthood needs to be validated by someone, usually a pastor or other authority figure, for that servanthood to be important.
It's no wonder pastors burn out so quickly. They are responsible for validating the ministry of far too many people. Jesus Himself really only connected to twelve people- and even within this group there were really only two or three that He became really close to. Now there's a model to consider!
Isn't it a bit funny to speak of leaders as servants? Of course, public leaders are quick to point out that they are the servants of the people, but it never works out that way. In fact, it's always the other way around. The same situation exists in church. People often don't want to actually serve, what they want to do is to receive recognition. Recognition is another form of power.
What is it exactly that we need to be released from in order to serve? Perhaps only our fear that our servanthood will not be good enough for the Kingdom of God. If we are plugged into a power structure, particularly a religious power structure, we are more sure that God approves of our service.
But what if we just served, without worrying about whether the power structure noticed- or even if the power structure cared? It would be a lot easier on us, and for sure a lot easier on the people that run the power structure- like pastors.
:cheesy3:
Friday, July 30th
Test at Beliefnet.com
I took a test at beliefnet.com which is supposed to tell you the best religion for you. These are my results:
1. Orthodox Quaker (100%)
2. Seventh Day Adventist (98%)
3. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (86%)
4. Eastern Orthodox (79%)
5. Roman Catholic (79%)
6. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (73%)
7. Liberal Quakers (63%)
8. Orthodox Judaism (55%)
9. Bahá'í Faith (52%)
10. Hinduism (51%)
11. Islam (50%)
12. Unitarian Universalism (44%)
13. Jainism (44%)
14. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (42%)
15. Jehovah's Witness (42%)
16. Reform Judaism (41%)
17. Theravada Buddhism (41%)
18. Mahayana Buddhism (38%)
19. Sikhism (32%)
20. Taoism (27%)
21. Neo-Pagan (25%)
22. New Age (23%)
23. Nontheist (18%)
24. Secular Humanism (16%)
25. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (15%)
26. New Thought (14%)
27. Scientology (11%)
Interesting to say the least! The church that I attend is #3 on the list of my most compatible religions at only 89%. Perhaps I should convert? Maybe not. From what I know about the Orthodox Quakers, I probably do agree with them closely in theology. But I don't think I would enjoy a Quaker service, at least not from what I've heard about them. I do like the fact that they have no formal clergy though. That's a step in the right direction.
I had to look up Sikhism to find out what it was. I'd heard of Sikhs before. I also don't know the difference between Theravada Buddhism and Mahayana Buddhism. I do work next to a Buddhist at work. I'll have to remember to ask her what the difference is.
I was also surprised that Scientology ranked last. According to this list I would be more than twice as happy as a Wiccan as I would a Scientologist! Interesting.
Well this was a fun test :jester:
Thursday, July 29th
Ode to my TV set (a poem)
Once I used to love the human race
But they would hurt me time and again
Then I saw you- and I loved your face
Your timing- so perfect! Your voice- so pleasing!
Your love is more precious to me
Than the love of a human being
Your response is immediate to every touch
Of my hand upon the pad of your remote
You never complain- and yet you give so much!
Don't ever leave me or forsake me, my friend
Because I am deathly afraid
To ever have to love the human race again
:smiley2: :sad2: :wink2:
Wednesday, July 28th
A sonnet for my wife
Music, they say, is the language of spheres
Their secret notes, they say, always remain
I can't pretend to hear earth's hidden refrains
I only hear what human ears can hear
But I can hear music when Nancy plays
Upon my mind's eye- I can feel her smile
Every time that I rest for just a while
And put aside life's woes and stop to pray
Yes, I love music, that is surely true
But more than that I love God and my wife
He reigns above, she helps me here below
There is just One who can make all things new
And gives me a perfect mate for this life
I trust that both will never let me go
---
I love you, Nancy
Fred
:kiss2:
Tuesday, July 27th
Turning the other cheek
Last week the pastor at Bethel Presbyterian preached on the long section in Matthew about not resisting evil people. This is a passage I've been thinking about for a long time. She brought up the same thing that everyone always does- that turning the other cheek does not mean being a doormat. But if it doesn't mean that- then what does it mean?
As I think about Jesus' own behavior, I realize that He did not allow Himself to be a doormat. When He was in the midst of a hostile crowd, He didn't stick around until they killed Him. He walked away. So apparently turning the other cheek doesn't mean sticking around in a situation where things are hostile.
This is an important point, especially if you are an abused spouse or suffering some other kind of abuse.
I believe that Jesus' statements in this section are an example of hyperbole: a rhetorical device which employs exaggeration to make a point. Jesus also uses hyperbole when He tells us to pluck out our eye or cut off our hand. He uses the device to say, "Pay attention. This is important." So Jesus message is not for us to be doormats. Doormats can't walk away. We can walk away, but we can also strike back. Jesus is saying, "Don't strike back. Don't repay evil for evil." :luigi:
Monday, July 26th
Christians are walking billboards- but for what?
Since I've backed off my involvement in church, and more importantly not seeing my spiritual significance as inextricably tied to church participation, something interesting has happened. I've found myself more willing to talk about spiritual things with the people that I see day to day. And they have responded in turn. One co-worker the other day told me that he didn't mean to offend me, but he had no use for organized religion. To him it was a complete crock. I was able to tell him that I wasn't offended at all- for the most part I agreed with him. And it did so much to break down barriers.
It seems to me that Christians should be walking billboards for Christ (if I may borrow a consumerist concept without offending anybody.) But more often we end up being walking billboards for organized religion. Instead of reflecting God's glory, we end up reflecting the "glory" of whichever branch of religico we have gotten ourselves entangled in. How freeing it would be if we did not feel this obligation to defend the indefensible to the heathen!
And in fact, this happened in my discussion. People understand that behind organized religion is the power of the corporation. And I think that people look upon Christians as recruiters for a corporate power structure in which the Christian participates at some level. Because of this, any discussion between a Christian and nonchristian becomes a power struggle with the nonchristian feeling unempowered. When my friend realized that I had no interest in holding the power of the corporation over him, we were able to continue the discussion. He turned his attention to the Bible. His view of it of course has been skewed by his own background in organized religion (as has all of our views of it to a certain extent.) He told me that he couldn't accept that men could write something infallible. He didn't use those terms of course, but that was what he meant. Rather than try and back up church doctrine, I asked him if he thought that there could be anything of the divine in something that a man had written. He told me that he would have to think about that. An amazing thing happened. We were actually communicating about spiritual things!
:phone:
Sunday, July 25th
Sunday at Bethel Presbyterian Church
I spent a pleasant morning today at Bethel Presbyterian church (Columbus OH at the corner of Bethel and Reed Rds.) The story of how I got there was interesting. I typically go to the church for two or three lunch breaks during the week. Several weeks ago the office manager of the church asked me if I would play the "special music" for a service some Sunday. Without thinking about it very much I let her sign me up for July 25th. As the weeks progressed my "duties" became more involved. A couple weeks later the office manager asked if I would go ahead and do the "offertory" as well as the special music! This surprised me a bit because in my church, the offertory and special music are the same! She explained to me that the special music at Bethel takes place in the slot traditionally called the anthem. So I went ahead and said yes, I would play the offertory as well.
A few weeks after this she came up to me and said that as long as I was doing the offertory and the special music, perhaps I could just play all of the music and they could give their regular organist the day off. :O Again, without thinking about it very much I said yes.
I hadn't done the music for a church service since Christmas of 2003 so I was a bit nervous. But it was a good experience for me. I have had a tendency to be a perfectionist to the point of absurdity. Church really isn't a good place for such a person. I found myself being a bit annoyed at the fact that I wasn't able to speak to the worship leader or the pastor about the service until about 10 minutes before it actually started. I'm not at all a spontaneous person and surprises tend to upset me. But it wasn't bad. I guess I'm getting better at controlling that negative aspect of my personality.
Also, for fun, I thought I would play what I had played at my own church the first time I was asked to do special music- which was a piano arrangement of Rich Mullin's "Sing Your Praise to the Lord" (the same piece that Amy Grant made so popular back in the 70's.) I guess I wanted to see how it would feel to play it 6 years later. I have a tendency to be nervous when I perform in a situation where I feel that all eyes are on me. And I guess that I was- Nancy my wife said that my hands were visibly shaking. But it felt better than the first time I played this piece- and I feel like I played it better. It actually rather surprised me that my wife would notice my hands shaking- I didn't feel all that nervous.
:pianoplayer:
At our church after the special music, people are accustomed to clapping. That's something I've never quite gotten used to. It somehow seems out of place "in church." (Funny that I would feel this way. It must be something left over from my years in the Episcopal church.) But the way the old traditional church did it felt out of place, too. They would sit in silence, not acknowledging the performance in any way. At Bethel, the congregation acknowledged the performance by saying in one voice, "Amen!" That felt like a pretty good way of handling things.
The pastor got up and gave a great sermon. I'll probably record my thoughts on that in a blog later this week.
Saturday, July 24th
Reminiscing
Today is Saturday and I should be resting. Instead I'm blogging. It's OK, though! I ain't gonna write anything deep today.
I had a great time with my wife today so far, and it's not even 11:00 in the morning yet! We met our daughter and her husband and treated them to breakfast. Then we went across the street to the Worthington farmer's market and bought some tomatoes, parsley, beets, and cabbage. My wife got a Juiceman from Freecycle Columbus recently- an online group where people simply give away things they don't need anymore.
After buying these vegetables I didn't feel like driving down High St (the main N/S drag in Columbus OH) so I detoured through the residential streets of Worthington. These took us through some of the mail routes that I delivered when I was a baby mailman. One route in particular brought back found memories: route 1422 in zip 43214. This was the first route that I ever cased and carried all on my own. I really loved it because the neighborhood was so peaceful and quiet. It is the sort of surprising neighborhood which is minutes from the main drag, but feels as though it is way out in the country somewhere.
The regular mailman back then was a fellow named Tommy Thompson. I remember Tommy for giving me the advice of making sure that I got "loaded" properly. "Fred, if you just get loaded properly in the morning, the rest of this job falls right into place." Tommy was the sort that was careful to get loaded properly at all hours of the day. He told me that he used to have a patron on his route that kept a keg of beer in his basement. Tommy had arranged his route so that he parked right in front of this patron's house and had to stop back by his truck 3 times!
As we weaved our way back home, we noticed several garage sales. One looked particularly interesting, so we stopped and looked around. Boy, I love Clintonville! The people there seem to be of a more artsy character than they are in our neighborhood. I was particulary interested in a box of old necklaces that reminded me of some of the necklaces that my mother used to wear. I wanted to my my wife Nancy a seashell necklace but she protested that she would never wear something like that! Fortunately we did find a necklace that she liked. (I really wanted to get her something personal.) We also found a nice purse and a really nice tank top: almost brand new. The grand total was $4.40 so I gave the people a five and told them to keep the change.
It feels good to participate in the alternate economy. Nancy recently won a makeover through the company my daughter works for. The makeover included $150 to spend at Polaris mall. This really gave my wife fits. It drove her nuts trying to find clothes that she felt comfortable in at the mall. We are much more comfortable with garage sale and thrift store items.
There's a lot more personal connection, too! :cool2:
Friday, July 23rd
Modern day old wives' tales
The Apostle Peter tells us in 1Tim. 4:6 not to have anything to do with Godless myths and old wives' tales. Thanks to the magic of the internet, I get regular doses of both via my e-mail. Just the other day I got this one again, complete with pictures:
"As you walk up the steps to the Capitol Building which houses the Supreme Court you can see near the top of the building a row of the world's law givers and each one is facing one in the middle who is facing forward with a full frontal view- it is Moses and the Ten Commandments:
 "
I've gotten this modern day old wives' tale in plain text several times before, but now it seems someone has added photographs. A while back I looked up this Godless myth on www.snopes.com, so I already knew what the artist's true intention was. I knew that the sculpure actually has 3 central lawgivers: Moses, Solon, and Confucius. I can't help but think that whoever added this photo already knew this and was deliberately trying to deceive people into thinking something else. If you take a close look at the blow-up of the central portion of the frieze, you can see that it has been flipped: it is a mirror image of the original! The only purpose I can imagine for this is that in a culture that reads left to right, our attention would be drawn to Solon before it would be drawn to Confucius. The purpose behind the deception is that Solon's head is tilted slightly towards Moses, bostering the false claim that Moses is the sole central figure. My supposition is supported by the fact that the photo is \\not\\ centered: Confucius (who is clearly facing forward) is cut off on the right, while Solon is fully shown.
Whoever wrote this e-mail had the obvious intent of slamming the Supreme Court Justices. They went to great lengths to portray them as a bunch of hypocrites who deny everybody else the right to display the Ten Commandments while brazenly displaying them on their own building. What a bunch of hooey. First of all, the Supreme Court has never made a blanket prohibition of the display of the ten commandments. They prohibit their display only in the context of government- and even then only when the display serves no secular purpose (the Lemon Test). Secondly, this isn't even a display of the Ten Commandments- the tablets Moses holds are blank! :shocked2:
I'm really getting tired of hearing that our country was founded on "Christian principles," whatever those are. If this e-mail displays Christian principles, I'm \\happy\\ our country was not founded upon them! After studying the rhetoric on both sides of the church/state issue, I have reached a startling conclusion. Mrs. Barclay, my fifth grade social studies teacher, has been right all of these years. The United States of America was founded on the principles of religious pluralism (as well as political, philosophical, and social pluralism). I shouldn't have been so shocked. Mrs. Barclay looked old enough to my young eyes to have been around for the Revolutionary war. :laugh2:
Thursday, July 22nd
Jesus and the Politics of Powerlessness (part 2)
Yesterday I started talking about the politics of powerlessness. I drew a distinction between feeling powerful on a personal level and on a political level.
It is very interesting to me that although there are huge number of people very interested in so-called Christian politics, there seem to be very few who are interested in Jesus' politics. In fact, when I did a google search on "Jesus' politics," my website was in the top 10! Frankly, that is ridiculous. I only became interested in politics about a year ago, and have only started writing about it a few months ago.
There is an older book called "The Politics of Jesus." Although (again) I haven't read the book, I read enough reviews on the internet to get an idea of what it is about. The author comes from an Anabaptist background and, as one would expect, has a pacifistic view of Jesus' politics. But it is interesting to examine it as it relates to power and powerlessness.
In this author's view, Jesus' political manifesto is "resist not evil" (from the sermon on the mount.) Jesus elaborates by giving three examples. We are not to resist power against our person (turn the other cheek), power against our property (give him your coat as well), or what I see as power against our labor (go the extra mile).
It seems to me that very few are living out the manifesto "resist not evil." On the contrary, most Christians are violently resisting anything that they see as evil, and believe that they are doing a service to God by doing it.
It seems almost ridiculous in the present day environment to recommend that Christians "resist not evil." And certainly this statement must be put into context. Paul said "resist evil, hold fast to that which is good," after all. What does this statement mean? Well, I believe that we can reconcile Paul and Jesus by going back to the distinction between personal and political power. Jesus is speaking in the political realm; Paul in the personal. Paul means that we need to resist evil in our personal lives- to not succumb to the temptations to sin, etc. When it comes to our political lives, Paul agrees with Jesus: "...as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."
So, what is the political realm as distinct from the personal? I'm no political scientist, but it seems to me that politics becomes a factor whenever there is more than one person involved. We tend to think of politics as involving very large numbers of people (such as nations.) But certainly there is such a thing as workplace politics and church politics. Extending this notion there is even politics within families or even between husband and wife.
My friends who have a psychological bent tell me that we all need to feel that we have personal power. If we feel powerless we will feel afraid- which is not God's will for us. I agree that this is true. But when the power becomes political the situation becomes trickier. It seems to me that the larger the group, the more remote the threat seems to be. If it is just me and my wife, I need a greater sense of security that I do in church. I need to have some sense of power in that very personal relationship. On the other hand my relationship with the government of my country seems so remote that I usually don't feel any particular need to have power in that arena.
Jesus' radical statement is that I should forego the exercise of power even in my most personal relationship. I asked a lawyer who attends my church one time if anybody in his experience had ever actually followed Jesus' advice in a lawsuit ("If someone sues you for your shirt, give him your coat as well.") Even before I had finished the question the lawyer smiled and said, "Never." Isn't that interesting? :huh2:
Wednesday, July 21st
Jesus and the Politics of Powerlessness
The phrase "politics of powerlessness" keeps coming to my mind when I think of the various issues surrounding church/state issues and how Christians should view them. The phrase was so attractive that I knew that I couldn't have made it up myself. (Actually I'm prideful enough that I thought I could have been this inventive. I'm just smart enought not to admit it.) So I did an internet search and found out about an old book called "George C Wallace: the Politics of Power."
I don't have time to actually read this book but I found a review of it that was very interesting. According to the book the people that backed George Wallace back in the day felt that they had power on a personal level, but not on a political level.
I'm a bit uncomfortable drawing a sharp line between personal power and political power. But the distinction is useful.
Of course Jesus had to deal with the political powers which existed back in His day. There are parallels to each of them in modern society, though some of them are not so obvious.
The obvious ones are the first century liberals and conservatives. The Saducees were the liberals; the Pharisees the conservatives.
Less obvious is the role of the Essenes and the Zealots. Both of these first century groups have 21st century counterparts. The Essenes were a rather strange group that buried themselves (politically) out in the desert and refused to have anything to do with secular politics. I think of them as religious separationists. They have their counterpart today in groups like the Amish. The Zealots are a better known group. They seemed to have opposes all political power structures, often with physical violence. They have their modern day counterparts in the Anarchists.
Interestingly, nobody makes the mistake of identifying Jesus with either the conservatives or the liberals of His day. Apparently He was more accepted amongst the conservatives, at least initially. The gospels report on a number of occasions Jesus meeting with and dining with Pharisees. I don't recall any mention of Him doing this with the Saducees. I can imagine that these encounters with the first century conservatives were initially friendly on the part of the Pharisees, but as they realized that Jesus was not interested in their agenda, the Pharisees grew increasingly hostile.
What about the religious separationists and the anarchists of His day? Here, some people have suggested that Jesus might have been one or the other. In the first century, His accusers thought that Jesus was an anarchist- that He wanted to tear down the temple violently. In the 20th century, some religious historians have thought that Jesus might have been an Essene.
I believe that Jesus stood completely separate from all of the political power systems of His day. And I think that this is especially interesting, especially as it pertains to the "politics of powerlessness."
Both modern day conservatives and liberals in our country seem to feel a sense of powerlessness when it comes to politics. Both groups have ties to the George Wallace supporters who felt a great deal of personal power, but were frustrated when it came to political power. I believe both liberals and conservatives have reconciled this contradiction by postulating the existence of a "conspiracy." Liberals are sure that there is a right wing conspiracy which is thwarting their effort, while conservatives are convince that there is a left wing conspiracy. Even when they say that they don't believe this, their actions convince me that they do.
Why is the creation of an imaginary conspiracy important to these folk? Well, I think that if we go back to the first century political environment, we see the counterpart of "the conspiracy." The Romans are the first century "conspiracy." Like the Romans, the conspiracy is all powerful and evil.
I'll have to write more on this tomorrow. I'm out of time today. :cheesy3:
Tuesday, July 20th
Consumerism and gastric bypass
There is a man that lives on my route that goes to Florida for half of the year. The other day I caught sight of him after he returned. I commented to him that he was only half the man he used to be! He told me that he had gastric bypass surgery about a year ago and had lost 125 pounds.
The way I understand gastric bypass surgery works is that they drastically decrease the size of your stomach. This way it becomes uncomfortable to eat more than a small portion of food.
I wish that they had gastric bypass for the soul. Of course, I wish that I weighed a bit less that what I do. But more than that, I wish that I didn't have such a desire for, well, stuff- for want of a better word.
It would be great if a surgeon could just fix things so that if I bought more stuff than I need, my soul would become uncomfortable. Unfortunately I don't know a surgeon like that.
I am, at heart, a consumer. Consumerism is a hunger, the desire to buy more and more stuff. Like a person with an eating disorder, I continue buying and buying long after I have all of the stuff that I need. I wish that I wasn't like that. I'd like to blame my problem on anyone but me- on society, on the church, on my parents, on the advertisers. I suppose I could even blame my problem on George Bush. He seems to be a popular target these days.
Lord, I need a surgeon for my soul. Please make me uncomfortable when I consume more than I need.
Fred
\o/
Monday, July 19th
Columbus Worship Center
Yesterday Nancy and I visited Columbus Worship Center: a church located in an urban area of town. We also participated in a service there seven years ago- I helped a friend lead the music there. The place had changed quite a bit physically in the past seven years. Since that time the church acquired the property next door: the old "Garden Burlesque" which was actually in operation as a burlesque when I moved to Columbus about 30 years ago. The church hopes to make that into the main sanctuary eventually, although right now they are still meeting in the room that they did seven years ago. The room has been snazzed up quite a bit. They have built a stage, a sound booth, and nice restroom. The church has grown over the years in numbers. There were probably about 70-80 in attendance yesterday, as opposed to about 30-40 seven years ago
Although the church has changed physically, it still seems to have the same vision and purpose. The service followed the standard evangelical pattern of the sacred songfest followed by the sacred lecture. I found that rather disappointing. It occurred to me as I was sitting there that I have the same character as my father when it comes to church. He always made a point of falling asleep in church to show his disapproval of the whole shebang. He could do that of course- he is not a Christian. I have to make a pretense of at least being interested. But I realized yesterday that what my father and I have in common is that we would rather be doing than watching. Church as it is set up these days is still a spectator sport.
Nancy asked me if I could see us going to that church. I said that I supposed that I could. I don't think a church should be judged on the basis of what goes on in the Sunday morning service. And the vision and purpose of the church seems noble. They truly want to reach people in the poorer areas of Columbus with the gospel of Christ. But the assumptions about the traditional chuch structure are still the same. They still assume that when people come to Christ they will automatically want to come to Church. The medium is still the message. As long as we keep dressing Jesus up in the same religious clothes, people are not going to be too interested in coming to Him.
There was a lot of talk about money yesterday. The church needs 55 thousand dollars quickly in order not to lose the old Garden Burlesque- there are numerous code violations that must be fixed immediately. Someone donated 50 thousand. They are believing God that He will quickly bring in an additional $65 thousand which will enable them to renovate the building to the point that they can actually hold services there.
I couldn't help but notice that three of the four pastors listed on the program are middle aged white men. I don't know the fourth pastor- he may be younger. I hope so.
I suppose I should have faith that God will work despite the obvious institutional hindrances. I've seen Him work in my church which is just as bogged down with the old assumptions. It just gets so tiring! It seems like 90% of our resources go towards propping up the institutional/corporate structure of the church and only 10% to the relational. :cry2:
Fred
Friday, July 16th
Dreaming of being fed at church
Last night I had another one of those "significant" dreams. God has been using my dreams since the middle of 2003 to tell me things about myself. I still want to have a "God" dream: one in which God is clearly speaking to me. Maybe I will never have a dream like that- maybe God will "only" use these significant dreams full of symbolism that I have to dig the meaning out of. Here is the pertinent part of my dream:
I'm in church listening to a very charismatic and well-know speaker. The church looks like a very fancy restaurant: similar to the steak house I had dinner at about a week ago. I am sitting in a booth with a young geeky man. He is unathletic, a bit overweight, has greasy hair that is too long, and wears black rimmed glasses. He, like everyone else but me, is listening attentively to the speaker. I am busy sorting slices of salami into stacks of 8. I am sorting them into a food tub of the type that we used to use at the pizza shop that I worked at years ago. It is an annoying task because the salami slices are of different diameter and therefore the stacks are of different diameter. This bothers me for some reason. At the point that I am almost done my boothmate turns to me and says something to the effect of, "Isn't this speaker saying great things?" I answer that I don't really know about that; the speaker's name (or title- I can't remember which) begins with "a" which reminds me that "antichrist" also begins with "a." My boothmate looks shocked. He looks like he is about to protest so I continue, "Haven't you noticed that he groups things by 5's? 5 is the number of Satan; just think of the pentagram." I don't believe that the speaker is antichrist, of course. I just want to get the young man to think a bit.
Now I'm done sorting the salami and I start to look around for something to stablilize the stacks. I'm worried that they will shift in the tub and all my work will be for nothing. There is a bin of some sort to my right, so I start to look through it to find something. But it is full of nothing but useless junk. As I look to my right I see that the worship director from my church is in the luxurious corner booth with her husband. Next to them is a container of fancy toothpicks- the kind that are individually wrapped in plastic. I ask her if I can use them for my salami. To my surprise she says, "No, I will need these for something else." So I guess that I will just have to trust that the salami stays in place. I'm a bit annoyed about that...
This part of my dream seems pertinent to some earlier thoughts I had on "being fed." Being fed in church was a phrase that we used to use in the late 70's and 80's to mean getting some good teaching and some good worship when we went to church. It's probably a good thing that we dropped that phrase.
In my dream, everyone is sitting around a wonderful restaurant. They should be eating, but instead they are "getting fed" a bunch of words by a super-apostle. It seems like an empty restaurant compared to real food.
It seems a bit pompous that in my dream I'm the only one that has food at all. Perhaps God it showing me my pride. Do I really imagine that I'm the only one in church that has "real" food? Perhaps I do imagine this- and that isn't a good thing.
God is also showing me that it is not fair to portray the institutional church as "antichrist." The institutional church after all is just an abstraction. In it, are real people that sometimes hunger and thirst, and sometimes feed. It is not their fault if they fail to understand that the institutions that they sometimes idolize can never feed them or anyone else.
The young man in my booth is, of course, me- 25 or 30 years ago. I was raised in the hope that the institutional church would grow and grow and eventually conquer the secular world.
A generation later I don't believe this any more. But I am still tied to the old methods. I look at leader of institutional worship at my church and long for her toothpicks. The toothpicks represent the tried and true methods of the church to pin things down- to make sure the salami doesn't slide all over the place.
Lord, I need to have more faith in Your methods- and less faith in the methods of institutions and corporations. Also, may I not worry so much about stacking the food just so.
Thursday, July 15th
The Competitive Me
I commented today to my wife Nancy that when I lift weights I have a compulsion to check out what the other guys are lifting to see how I compare. Interestingly it is just the guys- not the ladies. She suggested that perhaps I could go to our church's group for those with disordered patterns of eating and exercising: "The Dwelling Place."
If I went there I would be the only man. Would that make the women uncomfortable, I wonder? :huh2:
What is manifesting itself in my exercising is my competitive spirit. It shows up everywhere. Is it a good thing, or a bad thing?
About a week ago I played chess with a friend from church. The competition was fun, but brought back some bad memories from when I was a chessnut. I didn't like the way I was when I played chess. I would be quite nasty and not at all Christlike.
"Transparency" is a catch-word at our church these days; and likely it is a catch-word at other churches at well. Competitiveness works against transparency. You don't want to tell your chess partner what you are thinking: "I sure hope that you make this move- but I sure hope that you don't make this other move." Only a fool reveals to his opponent what he is thinking in his heart.
It would be interesting to go to "The Dwelling Place" for eight weeks. I think thought that women pick up on men's more competitive natures and tend to be not as transparent around them. I would hate to think that my presence would hold them back from sharing freely. On the other hand, the experience might be good for both of us.
Wednesday, July 14th
Worship in spirit and truth
I've been thinking a lot recently about Jesus' response to the woman at the well when she asked Him where to answer. A lot of ink has been spilled about "spirit and truth," but I can't remember anybody discussing the negative aspect of Jesus' answer. He said that true worshippers would not worship in a certain way. They would not worship in Jerusalem or on Gerizim.
I've always glossed over this fact. I've always just assumed that the impact of this statement was that where you could worship anywhere you wanted to. You could worship in Jerusalem, on Gerizim, in the middle of the field, or in the bathroom. But this is not what Jesus seems to be implying. There is something about the worship of true worshippers which causes them not to be drawn to Jerusalem or Gerizim.
The areement in number is interesting, too. Not "Jerusalem or Gerizim" (2) but "spirit and truth" (2). I can think of a few other 2's, also. The Son of Man was handed over to "the scribes and the chief priests" to be put to death. I can see the parallel here. The scribes were supposed to be the defenders of the truth. They were to accurately copy the scriptures so that God's truth was preserved. The chief priests were supposed to be the guardians of the spirit. Their duties centered in the Holy of Holies, which contained the presence of God. These folks, who were supposed to be the defenders of worship in spirit and truth, ended up being the very ones responsible for Jesus' death. :shocked2:
And of course there is the bread and the wine- the body and blood of Christ. Another 2 to correspond to spirit and truth.
It seems to me that worship in many of our churches seems like Jerusalem churches. The sermon givers are responsible for worship in truth. The worship leaders are responsible for worship in spirit. There is a certain businesslike efficiency to this setup. I know that I have a responsibility to search the scriptures to see if all of the philosophies and ideas I am being bombarded with are true. But it is difficult to find the time to do this. It is much easier to hire somebody trained in searching the scriptures and pay him or her to report back the results. This person tells me which philosophies are out there, good and bad, and what my scriptural response to them should be.
It is also difficult to worship in spirit. It takes a lot of effort to get a handle on the prophetic- on what is going on in the community of the Spirit. It is much easier for me to hire somebody to create an atmosphere and an agenda by which I can simply follow along once or twice a week.
But haven't we lost the real point by becoming so efficient?
Lord, I just pray that I would have the strength I need to worship in spirit and truth every day. I don't want to become lazy in searching the scriptures, nor do I ever want to become out of step with the community of Your Spirit.
Monday, July 12th
The Lord's Supper
A few weeks back I saw the movie "Lady Jane." This movie was about the life of Jane Grey, who was queen of England for 7 days. It was a moving story about faith. In the 16th century, one of the hot topics was the number of sacraments. The Protestants thought there were only two (Baptism and Communion) as opposed to the Roman Catholics, who thought there were seven.
I'm coming to realize the power in sharing a meal. It seems to me that we have replaced that sacrament with the sacrament of music. We call this sacrament "the worship." I think that perhaps "the sacred songfest" would be more appropriate. Although the scriptures tell us that "they" (presumably meaning the disciples and Jesus) sang a song at the last supper, it is obvious that Jesus put more power on the act of sharing the meal.
So I've tried to make a point of sharing meals with my believing friends, even though we don't call such events "the Lord's Supper." And during such times I have begun to ask the Lord to help me discern His Body and Blood. Yesterday after church many of us went out to a local restaurant to celebrate the birthday of one of the church musicians. I thought that it was rather amusing that real wine with nice glasses was present at this meal- as opposed to the tiny plastic cups of juice that we use "in church." Bread and wine were both available at the meal, but no one thought to remember Jesus at this event- at least in any outward sense. His name wasn't even mentioned. I suppose the location was wrong. :tongue2:
After we left I felt sorry that I hadn't drunk any wine at the meal. Wine seems to have been special to Jesus- he turned 120 gallons of water into wine at Cana, after all.
I suppose that I am not really a sacramentalist in the strict sense of the word. I don't believe that there are special rituals which confer grace as opposed to ordinary rituals which do not. I believe that any ritual has the power to confer grace if Jesus' presence is discerned. Still, there is something special about doing the things that Jesus told us to do- like remember Him at our meals.
Fred
:cool2:
Sunday, July 11th
An Honest Letter to God
Dear God,
How are You today? I am fine. Oh, there are things that could be better, but for the most part I'm pretty happy.
I'm rather concerned about how You are running things. Abortion on demand has been legal in this country way too long and I wonder what is going on with the gay marriage issue. Since You don't seem to be doing much about it, I guess You are waiting for me to work harder to get these issues straightened around. But I don't know what to do.
I also wonder what is going on in the Muslim world. In the past I had deep prejudices against people of different races and religions. From experience I know that these prejudices diminished greatly when I spent some time with people different than me. I think that I would be less concerned and fearful about the war if I just weren't so prejudiced. I wish that I could understand Islamic people better. But there just don't seem to be any around me. Could You arrange for me to meet and talk with some? I'd really appreciate that.
I'd like to do something for You. But I don't feel like I have the power to do that and I wish that You would give me some kind of position in the community that would make me feel more powerful. Maybe if my musical career took off I would feel better about myself.
I find myself thinking about You more when I am alone. I look up at the great big sky and the wonderful birds and trees and flowers that are all around. Sometimes I am amazed at the way that my own body is put together- the muscles, joints, and all the internal unseen organs that I barely am aware of. I wish that I could trust You more when I was around other people. I wish that I was less afraid of them- and of You. :(
Thank You again for Your gift of Jesus. I love to read Your word- especially the parables about the Kingdom of Heaven. I'm really looking forward to the time when You wrap all of this up.
Sincerely yours,
Fred
Saturday, July 10th
God and Caesar
Yesterday my wife Nancy received news that our church's governance committee had made a decision that was very hurtful to her. This tended to just reinforce my concerns about the church as "corporation" rather than "community." To add insult to injury, our pastor told Nancy to put a secret word in the bulletin: "community!" (We put a secret word in the bulletin to encourage people to actually read it. The first 5 people that tell the pastor the secret word receive a prize.) Jokingly I told Nancy that she should make the secret word "corporation." It seems to be a secret that the basis of "church" is being a corporation rather than a community.
In the end Nancy made the secret word "community," despite her hurt. This shows that she is a woman of character and integrity.
The real secret, that so few people seem to "get", is that church governance, corporate structure, and authority, are all a form of Caesar. They are not a form of God, or at least they shouldn't be. Some Christians have made church into a god, maybe even into their God. And it has hurt Christianity so much!
I believe strongly that we must determine our attitudes towards the institutional church by reading Romans 13 rather than the scriptures applying to the "church universal." This is where so many postmodern Christians have erred. They perceive correctly the great gap between religico and The Church. But they fail to perceive that Caesar is a servant of God, appointed for their good.
This is the crux of my struggle. I read Romans 13 over and over again, yet I still continue to fear Caesar- to see him as an agent of evil rather than of good. Paul says clearly that if I do good I have no reason to fear Caesar.
There is that issue again: good works. :(
Brian Maclaren has said (in reference to the Iraq war) that he fears that many have mistaken Caesar for God. He is speaking of the federal government. Certainly many have, but many more have not. We have a tradition in this country that Caesar can be, in fact must be criticized. That helps keep Caesar healthy. We would go a long way towards healing in our institutional churches if we maintained this same tradition towards church authority.
Lord, today I pray that I would no longer fear Caesars of any kind- government, church, or job Caesars. Let me render to him what is due him, while not neglecting to give You the highest place.
Friday, July 9th
Simon-Peter
I've been thinking about Simon-Peter a lot in the past couple of days. You would think that the Bible would have a lot more to say about the guy upon whom Jesus said He would build His community of faith. But we know a lot more about Paul than we do about Peter. Why is that, I wonder?
As I've been thinking about that, I've also been thinking about what Jesus meant when He told Peter, "Feed my sheep." Could this statement be more literal than we take it to be? In the Jerusalem community, the believers gave everything they had to the fledgeling church and held everything in common. My religious history professor many years ago said that the Jerusalem church came to be known as the poorest church in the known world at the time. After giving everything to the new work and then suffering religious and economic persecution, it is easy to see why.
So Peter must have felt some responsibility to literally feed the sheep. Yet surely this is not the whole picture! Jesus also said, "Tend my lambs." Feeding is a part of tending, of course, yet there is more responsibility in tending than in feeding.
Yet the funny thing is that we don't see Peter doing a lot of what I would call "pastoring." The head of the Jerusalem church as we see it in Acts 15 would seem not to be Peter, but James. I don't think that Peter was seen as the head of any visible manifestation of the church. Apostles seemed to have a broader mission. Yet Peter was commissioned by Jesus as a "tender" and a "feeder."
Can I do what Peter did? I don't have charge over any part of the visible church. I don't have the title of Pastor or Leader or any such thing in the little bitty manifestation of "church" that we sometimes call "the local church." I don't have the corporate structure empowering me financially and administratively to feed and to tend. And yet, I can't help but think that Jesus has called me to go feed and tend anyway.
The second part of Jesus little speech to Peter was that when he was old, people would take him where he didn't want to go. I think that this is a vital part of feeding and tending. There are so many people willing to feed and to tend, provided that they can do it on their own terms.
So, Lord, I just pray that I would be a little more willing to go places that are inconvenient for me in order to feed Your sheep.
:)
Thursday, July 8th
My very first blog!
OK, so I've decided I need to start blogging. It's just gotten really tiring trying to write articles. Articles are a drag- you have to check spelling, rhetoric, and all that jazz. So unless I come up with something really brilliant, I'm going to limit my thoughts to the blog section of my site.
Today I've come up with a new name to think of my church as. At first, I thought I would think of it as "The Church of the Sacred Businessman" because of all of the emphasis on the businesspeople there. But that name is rather insulting, isn't it? So then I thought I would refer to my church as "That 80's Church," playing on the title of a well know TV series. But, of course, that is rather insulting also, isn't it?
So today I've decided to refer to my church as "Religico." Not just my church, really. All churches that grow to be over 30 people or so are really just a form of Religico. Christianity repackaged in the form of the corporation.
A good friend of mine who is a fellow Churchite asked me if it was time for me to "leave my church" and find another. Certainly I seem rather cynical. But the question seems silly to me. How can you leave church if you are a believer? There is only one church.
I know what he meant of course. But I don't think I want to leave my church. I have been a part of this expression of religico for nearly 6 years now. I have so many Christian friends there!
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